I thought I'd written all there was to say about Aflak, but, as I was looking him over, the better to describe him, I was reminded of two other stories.
Aflak's head used to come off as a separate piece, but his neck is now riveted in place due to an unfortunate run in with a car which left them both in pretty rough shape.
Dad had a bad habit of laying his cane on the roof of the car when he climbed into the driver's seat. On one occasion, he left Aflak there and drove off. As he pulled out onto the street, he heard a clatter and, in the rearview mirror, saw Aflak bouncing into the middle of the street. He pulled over and was climbing out to retrieve his companion when another car came speeding up behind him. Dad was certain the driver saw Aflak and deliberately aimed the car at him, but, whatever the man's intent, run over the cane he did.
When Dad picked him up, Aflak's head had a few small holes ground into one side and was somewhat wobbly, and the lower end of the ferrule had been snapped off about four inches from the end. He looked around for the car and spotted it against the curb about half a block away. The left front tire was completely flat: Aflak's beak had torn a hole in it.
Dad's friend, Mike, replaced the broken end and soldered a brass collar around Aflak's neck. Dad didn't stay to talk to the driver, but, according to the guard at the condo gate, he'd had to call AAA to bring him a new tire.
The other story comes from Aflak's time with me.
For reasons that are too long and complicated to go into, my children's father was forced into bankruptcy not long after we divorced and I ended up paying off all his debts but the one I hadn't cosigned. That left me with a 40 % share of a small company, the other 60 % being divided between the wife and son of my ex's former business partner, hereinafter known as C. W.
C. W. went on to have an affair with his wife's best friend, his wife found out about it and started divorce proceedings. C. W. then tried to get hold of his wife's share of the business, claiming she had only been a "silent partner" and the shares were his. Asked by the lawyers for an affidavit, I said my current partners had, in fact, been the backbone of the business and their husband/father had had nothing to do with it for several years before I became involved.
C. W. called me and ordered me to "keep my nose out of his business" and, when I said, "This IS my business," told me, "You'll be sorry." He then went to my ex's disgruntled creditor and told her that our divorce was a scheme to defraud her; that my ex, in fact, had lots of money squirreled away; and that he, C. W., would be glad to testify to that effect if she--the creditor--would sue me for my share of the business and split the shares with him.
D. C. (Disgruntled Creditor) then went to her lawyer without C. W. and told him to contact me and my two partners to make the following offer: D. C. would graciously accept 25 % of my shares (10% of the business) and not sue me for the money my ex owed her. No mention of a fraudulent divorce, but lots of allegations that my ex was hiding money from me as well as her.
All this should explain why my two partners, D. C. and I were sitting in her lawyer's office with me gripping Aflak's head so tightly my fingertips had gone numb. As I listened politely to D. C. and her lawyer, I consciously relaxed my fingers, feeling Aflak's weighted head in my hand. I thought flipping him around and holding him by the ferrune and swinging him like a baseball bat. I pictured all the damage that weight could do to D. C. and her lawyer and his office, a sort of modern replay of Samson and the ass's jawbone against the Philistine army.
Then I remembered the Hollywood classic, Samson and Delilah, with a very buff, bare chested Victor Mature beating off all those heavily costumed extras, and I almost giggled. I was still angry, but I wasn't going to let them know that. I wasn't going to let them know a damned thing.
D. C. and her lawyer finally ran out of things to say, and my two partners, intelligent people that they were, knew it wasn't their place to say anything. The lawyer finally said something like, "I suggest you take some time to think about our offer," I said I would, and we left. My partners assured me that they'd stand behind anything I decided, and I told them how much I appreciated their support. And then I left.
When I got home, I called C. W., got his answering machine, and asked him why he hadn't been at the meeting. I took Aflak for a long visit with my friend, Anne, and a walk along the ocean.
A week later, when D. C. called to ask me what I had decided, I simply said, "I'm not giving you anything." She blustered and threatened to sue me, but I said "You do what you think you have to do," and hung up on her.
And that was the end of that. I still think Aflak would make an excellent substitute for that ass's jawbone.
No comments:
Post a Comment