Computers--the Internet

I really like this computer--my dad's, bought the summer before he died and still in the room we call "his office." It has lots of bells and whistles that I haven't even begun to figure out and it's responsive to most of my needs (which I'm told is a function of its huge memory).

And I love the internet. With my best friend two time zones away, my daughter and her family in Canada, and my son in the Army and presently in Germany, it allows me--if not instant--certainly daily contact. Not to mention Google and Wikipedia, which point me to information I'd never find in an ordinary library.

I don't like the spam--the ads for cheap drugs and "erotic enhancement appliances"--or the truly annoying pop-ups this computer allows me to block (most of the time--the occasional one slips under the radar and gets closed tout suite).

I even enjoy the--usually--stale jokes that seem to get circulated with every change of the season. I always read them for the occasional brand new one or the new spin to an old one.

But (you knew this was coming) I loathe the e-mails that end with "pass this one on to three (four, six, your whole buddy list of) friends and something wonderful will happen." And the ones that add "if you delete this message, something terrible will happen" make me so angry I want to track down the creators and shove their heads right through their computer screens.

How dare they make such threats? Yes, I know they're impotent, but the idea that anyone thinks what they have to say is so important they have use threats to make certain we all listen to/read them is so far beyond arrogant I haven't found a word in English to describe it.

So I've told my friends and family, "send me the stories and the pictures and the cute kid/animal photos and the inspirational messages and the jokes--even the raunchy ones--but DON'T send the others." I don't want them and I won't pass them on.